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really don know what is happening recently.. 

feel like always being taken advantage by other people.. 

really angry and disappointed.  

But thinking in positive way, maybe i still have value.. -.-  

or maybe can consider i have 被害妄想症. 

argh~ the best way for me now is to stop thinking of it.. 

Let's talk about good things ^^

Last Sunday, we shopped madly for cooking ingredients of the DINNER.  

We have large dinner <3

nice rite? taste good somemore ^^
prepared by me =P

after meal, have a cup of flower tea.. 

    

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 

Since i din make any plan for my holidays 

i came out with the idea to make BENTO BOX =)

i prepared lunch for family

din manage to get sesame for eyes.. 

   

A song

love the rhythm, love the lyric  

Sparks fly 
It's like electricity
I might die
When I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's nowhere
In this world I'd rather be
Time stops 
Like everything around me
Is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open M
Y mind to things I've never seen

Cause when I'm kissin u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place 
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you
When I'm kissin u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one 
Should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin u
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/miranda_cosgrove/kissing_u.html ]
Past loves 
They never got very far
Walls up 
Made sure I guarded my heart
And I promised I wouldn't do this
Til I knew it was right for me
But no one (no one)
No guy that I met before
Could make me (make me)
Feel so right and secure
And have you noticed I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

Cause when I'm kissin u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you
When I'm kissin u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one 
Should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin u

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it's love... 

Cause when I'm kissin u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place
You're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you
When I'm kissin u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one 
Should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin u

this is the feel i wan <3 

dramatic right? unrealistic right? dreaming right?fairy-tale right?  

every time i am being complain that i m so fairy-tale...naive...

 n blah blah blah=.=

so what!? i just like it..

everyone have their own thought

 who knows there r someone at the world outs there do have the same  thought as me ^^

this is the advantage of young =P

（bcos Pisces like romances) hehehehe  

 

 ps: pls no criticize .. hahaha

this Tuesday is my beloved mum's birthday.
 FYI: my family do not  have the practice to celebrate birthday..
especially parent birthday..
jus this few years there is a cake for them.

hehehe.. this is wat happen <3 

Tuesday night i purposely go bac ipoh to celebrate with my mum. Daddy came home after work 
and asked me accompany him to buy cake. 
 i m so surprise O.O like when did he be so initiative.. 

people my think that it is normal.. 
but i think this is super abnormal.. 

after having our dinner, cake cutting section! birthday generally is jus like singing song and cutting cake and also take photos.. 
(for my family)

who knows my dad's hand suddenly appear a gift..
 i was like OoO WHAT?
 my dad prepared gift? 
no way.. 
sun gonna rise from west..
 but really 
MIRACLE **  happens... 

FYI again: my dad is  a thrifty person.. never buy branded or expansive gadget.

and i nvr thought that it is an expensive gift. ( i m wrong)

HE BOUGHT A NECKLACE for her <3 

i was shocked!! 

i have born for 21 years.. 
this is my first time seeing mum receive present from dad.
 there is no celebration n present 
 for  valentine's day, wedding anniversary, and also birthday.. 

according to my younger sis.. 
she told that the day before, 
midnight, 
dad  took out the gift n ask her to wrap it..    
 my sis is like so "terrify".
 this is what i saw from her face expression.. 
she holding my hand n show agitated..

really feel SWEET <3 <3 and touching..  
from that moment i feel my dad is so romantic. 

although the necklace vy "leong" really leong.. 
i think ah poh also wont buy.. 
n he bought it ><

no matter what he bought it is still a gift from him.. 
MIRICLE** still cant belief it  until now.. 
but it happened
(i m insane, keep argue with myself ) 

hahahhaha..  
after years of hard work was paid off. 

i think every women will melt for this..  ( i m the first)

mum gets a good husband, a good man 

king and queen live happily ever after <3<3 

i m so touching.. 
tears gona float out.. but mum dint.. 
so i absorbed bac into my body.. 
hehehe

for real, parents good relationship can really affect children.
 i feel that in this world there is still good guys at somewhere out there.. 

i got an impetuous to get married with a guy like my dad. 

DADDY  !!  i love u 

 

Thursday blue

once i woke up it already 8pm... i m so morose, my mood dropped down to the cliff deeply.  And i purposely watch a tragic drama to follow the trend of my mood... tears shed for every scene.. 

when i m in depression and i don wan to cry for nothing... this is my way to cure myself... 

today is really not my day, from sunrise to sunset, there is only one word can describe me - pessimistic.  sorry to all my friends that i get u pissed off.. 

really don noe wat is going on with me..  

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”  ― 

Charles Chaplin

just saw this song. A meaningful song.
 I should always practice this conviction.

There isn't a flower that will not wilt
There aren't waves that will not ebb
There isn't a light that will not dim
What is troubling you?

There isn't a scar that will not fade
There isn't a wound that will not heal
There aren't despairs that will not stop
What are you hesitant about?

Time will never give an answer
Life was never meant to be overtly chaotic
Even if only for a moment, I am not afraid
It is many moments that make up forever

Chinese
你在烦恼什么?

没有不会谢的花，没有不会退的浪，没有不会暗的光，你在烦恼什么啊？
没有不会淡的疤，没有不会好的伤，没有不会停下来的绝望，你在犹豫什么啊？
时间从来不回答，生命从来不喧哗，就算只有片刻我也不害怕，是片刻组成永恒啊

people become greedy when they started to own something.. 

i enjoy my life 

and 

want to continue just like this or even more~

if u over concern to smtg 

 it at the same time hold u back

SO,

p/s never over care for anything, anybody, any time

jus do wat u like..

just live as nutty as a fruitcake

.

first of 2012

I can feel that 2012 is THE YEAR~ 

tans of great things happen at the beginning of the year.

my life are meaningful and challenging..

finally, i get to do the things I wanted for long time.. 

get a 

DIVING LICENSE!!  uuhuu~

2011 Nov 31

before get into the water, we have to get through a few tests.  Is just so sleepy as my night the day before are suffering. (zoann knew it all) >.< 

i got flu, sneezing the whole day plus sore throat.. upset for the 1st day..

we celebrate our new year eve at Lumut jetty.. full of people and fireworks. the firework din disappoint us at last. ^^ 

2012 Jan 1 

we woke up early in the morning.  Is a rainy day, i thought activity will cancel yet nope.  First day to underwater world.. teehee... Saw my expression *WORRIED* , everyone smiling so happily.. the weather is so cloudy, the sea are rough and  from the journey to an island, our boat rolled on the heavy seas.  

we have to set up our equipment by ourselves.  1st time of setting up was so helpless even though have been teach. after equipped, i got to crawl into the sea.. as u know that it is sooooo~ heavy.. for all my hard work of crawling a huge wave gave me a hit... again i back to the shore.. thing keep repeat, pit,pit,pit,pit... activities is obstructed..
everything so mess up! freaking exhausted!! 


n i get phobia to the sea.. and for once i hav the thought to give up.. finally i give myself a try.. haha.. 
DONE~ =P 

i love my instructor so much.. he is so MAN..<3  till now i m still obsessed with it

2012 Jan 2

i procrastinate alot.. next day, i m solo.. 

there is no more swim from shore to the sea..

directly jump from the boat at the middle of the sea.. 

as i am a IPOH girl where IPOH is surrounded by mountains

and hardly for me to get a chance close to sea.. and 

now u ask me to jump into the middle sea.. GOD~ at that time i really 

stunned.. pale face =S

huu~ don care any more die jiu die.. i closed my eyes take a deep breath.. JUMP!! 

all of sudden i reach the water.. heart beat extremely fast.. omg~ 

haha.. then continue all the things i drag yesterday..  

the worst i hav done.. ntg can get over me..ANYMORE~ 

surely~all of us passed  ^^

vittaya, robert, wei di, zoann, me <3

i meet some new friends too. All of them are nice guys.. 

hehe.. finally i know wat types of guy i like..

like my instructor

(muscular, tattoo, cool, patient, secure, man)

the only cons is they all smoke. 

3 days second hand smoke i breath in can equal to my 1 year second hand smoke..

80% comfirm.. =P

to-do list

I had prepared this post for so long like dec 2011, after lots of baffle, i m able to post this..

my to-do list!!

TO-DO LIST for 2012

1. first of all is to feel more CONFIDENCE !!! 

this is the most hardest and is the most wanted for 2012.

2. I want to be myself

the whatever person will always face this problem. 

that's ME, the whatever

but this is for last; i told myself. 

3. nobody born a failure

only the strongest will stand.

4. stop thinking and start moving

thinking too much is my weakness, 

which keep me in the comfort zone

5. explore for a new life 

looking from other angle, u can see a different world.

6. every step is a step toward success 

become braver, become stronger!! agrh!!!

great challenge..

7. always feel contentment 

8. care who i love

9. Mr RIGHT <3

he, do not need glamour appearance

he, do not need outstanding academic

etc.

jus a normal, simple person who treat me right.

10. saving to have a trip with my BFF ^^ 

my Hawaii trip..  i m comming..wait me ~ 

it is always easy to speak out rather than action.

For this time I'm now standing firm for what I want !!

this is inspired from a few of my experience for not giving up..

thanks to my precious past